Blue pillow being impaled by antler, The Sun magazine, The Sun, The Sun, The Sun, The Sun, The Sun, The Sun, dog food can, The Sun buried under overturned Amazon box, black dress shoe carefully perching atop Amazon box, crimson pillow, tan cat bed, innocent puppy indulging his occasionally-slightly-new-agey-but-generally-worthwhile literary side by reading a carefully selected issue of The Sun.
Christopher hereby reminds North Carolina of the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, and eagerly awaits the coming day when Amendment 1, Proposition 8, and all their ugly ilk are permanently consigned to the dustbin of history.
Right brown shoe, cleaning stuff spray bottle, plastic hanger, antler, tug bone, lemur, Pedigree can, toddler jack-o-lantern socks purchased (when?) for someone who is likely no longer a toddler, shreds of unbubbled wrap, former sugar cone packaging now pink foam confetti, innocent puppy contemplating the tangible manifestation of his feelings on the sham of pinkwashing.
Fredbird, panda tug kissing Fredbird’s head, tennis ball fling toy, random towels, pillow from Fran’s bed, box that used to have bubble-wrap in it, Trader Joe’s bag, right sneaker, innocent puppy exhausted from industriously turning a heap of bubble-wrap into a carpet of unbubble-scrap (there were 3 intact bubbles left).
Cookie box, stretchy bone, left New Balance, left other sneaker, antler, de-labeled dog food, innocent puppy who would apparently rather swallow an entire can and a grinning golden retriever than read Garrison Keillor.
I tried to explain to Christopher that if he was going to wear facial hair he really did need to put on a mask for the sake of sound aseptic technique, but he was still annoyed by the fact that he had nothing to put in the thumbs of the gloves and he flatly refused to do a thing I said. A chance to cut is a chance to demur….
Left New Balance, left other sneaker, too-big brown fleecy jacket pulled from chair, Anne McCaffrey and random short story book filched from “ancient paperbacks to go away” pile, voice recorder from briefcase that (oops) is not mine, innocent puppy either smoking an antler or practicing shofar in preparation for this year’s High Holy Days.
Talking devil, panda tug, Fredbird sitting in hummus container, bits of: right riding boot, brush, lemur tail and pillow, and innocent puppy certain that if he stares hard enough at me I will get the message in the mess.
Pedigree can, left tennis shoe, small hedgehog, Cardinals shirt, Bed Head pump bottle, paintbrush, right New Balance, green bone, orange tug, ProPlan bag, red round brush, antler bit, innocent puppy waiting for me to go upload this picture so he can finish removing pump bottle top and lightly coat self and surroundings with shampoo. It took about 3.6 seconds.
Squeaky penguin, portable speaker case, right dress boot, tennis balls in black sock, “Marriage is so gay” t-shirt, Fran’s spare black disco wifebeater, left dress boot, surrounding innocently though somewhat ineptly cross-dressing puppy.
Apparently confounded or simply vexed by the sheer quantity of music barreling down on us in the next few days (or in a sincere and desperate effort to get me to stop pelting him with my renditions of it), Christopher paused amid a different collection to once again empty the choir bag, this time dragging it to his lair first:
Empty music bag, 1982 Episcopal Hymnal, purplish anthem book, red anthem book, black folder stuffed to bursting mostly with gorgeous stuff by dead, white, European dudes but with interspersed works by less-pallid and/or more-female and/or less-deceased interlopers. One can only assume that the adjacent Technicolor boombox toy is a not-exactly-subtle hint….